i think if i not mistaken, i've been away from all my media social and not uploading so much content since early 2016 or late 2016. So much things happened i swear. Do you get the feeling where you really wanna just spill everythingggg to something but you feel its just useless and a waste of time. Yes i do now. I guess thats what adulthood is.
So far i have been good. I think. I am married, in case if you dont know. I mean, yeah.. Well, it surely is still in that surreal phase to me. Every day waking up from sleep i will ask myself whats happening, who is the guy i have been sleeping with last night? Very surreal i tell you. Soon i will update more about the journey of my life so far that i have been away from.
Im here watching everything. Its just that im in that anonymous mode. And stalking.. and judging...
Back then, life was fun. I have so many time to do anything that i want. I have all the resources that i need in order to have the fun but lack of money. But its so much different now. I have the money but i have so little time. Each time i wanna do things, i have to reconsider either this will worth the time that i will spend? Cause i tell you time is money. And i value money more.
But no matter how much i gain every day, the fun isnt that much satisfactory anymore. Its feels mundane. Like, what is the meaning of struggling with no joy to be remembered and nothing to laugh about? I guess thats what adulthood means.
I feel bad about myself these past few years. I chase to be 'somebody' rather than get to know me more first. I forget how to have fun. I forget how to laugh till i cry at the end. I forget how i enjoy music that much. How i spend my time reading fantasy books, doing some DIY and creating new stuff to share on the youtube channel i have.
I chased wrong thing.
But i never regret the things i have gone through. I learnt a lot. And i am matured by time.
I have gone through some real hardship that i will never forget. That, i will tell you guys more. Soon. If i have the time. But no worries, from now on, i have the resources already. We will meet together again and you can meet me through my writing.
Im still here. The fun one. Its just that the new me has trapped me to the dark sleep, And i have awaken to embrace what i have left behind.
If you currently reading this, consider yourself as a lucky one. Cause im about to make this space as my private diary only to express whats inside me. And trust me, i have bottled up so many things and be excited for you shall read more.
Before i end this post, i just wanna say that i am back :)