Biggest part of me ..

Peace be upon you.

hey guys, so just wanna update little thing. so now on aku berada dalam nyawa nyawa ikan. my final is gonna be only a week from now which means aku tak ada banyak masa pun lagi. scary woooo. fuh fuh .

ok that is not the biggest point of this post.

why eh its so hard for me now to spill something here on my blog? ok err, macam .. hmm, ok like this, idk why but i just feel that my aggressive behavior of me being so extremely competitive is like gone. you get me? i mean its complete gone you know.

its so weird how when i attend a class, which supposely i know a little since i read first the chapter for early preparation, but now, when i get into the class, i know nothing, i just don't wanna do anything about it, even worst, i don't even care ! :(

when i doing the test, if i can't answer a question, i just let it be like that with a thought on my mind saying that

'sokay, soalan ni memang susah tak payah buat pun tak apa. mesti yang lain pun tak boleh buat kan?

you see thats loser ok . LOSER !

im tired of being on the top always due to expectation, so i lowering myself to feel how it feels to be common or down stage but i never thought im gonna be this loser dowh. oh wow, you know what, i need motivation. like self motivation everyday. i mean when i wake up every morning, this is the first thing i need to consume first. someone need to say it straight to my face.

like super straight.

if someone try to motivate me in a way of like persuading, i don't think its gonna work dowh. reallly.

you see, if i didn't do my final that great which is not that hard, i lost so many things. i mean this.

i don't wanna loss what i have now,,