Sunday, July 8, 2012

Things i've afraid the most just arrived..


something shock happened this morning. i got a text message from mum, but i didn't read it. my sister does. muka dia merah. at that time, i still in bed, mamai. she read and give it to me and saying something about ayah. something that making me piss. i replied "apa kau cakap ni?" almost like mocking her. pity sister.

she gave me the phone, and i read it. terbeliak biji mata baca weyh. sumpah this is what i afraid the most in my whole life. the text goes like this

" kakak bangun. kemas rumah. ibu kat hospital ni. ayah kena langgar kereta"

at that time, it is still awal pagi and i got to say i wake quite late as i sleep late. aku jadi tak betul tau. immediately bangun and terus ke tandas basuh muka. i felt like this is not real. i walk back and forth. here and there. masuk bilik jumpa adik. what happened actually. tanya ayah ada kat bawah kan. like i so can't accept what i just read.

i try to call ibu, but for god sake maxis act all bangang. idk but here in my town the signal really bad lately. then i storm of turun bawah and try to call ibu using telefon rumah. like a secret connection between mum and child, she called first. asked us to kemas rumah cause nanti dia balik. with ayah probably kalau tak kena tahan.

looking front lawn i saw ayah's bike. gotto say its pretty bad damage there. the handle was so out of place. bengkang bengkok sana sini. the front part got the worst. since bahagian depan tepi yang dilanggar. azan, my brother the one who brought back the bike after been abandoned tepi jalan. he kinda piss to since the bike baru je hantar ubah suai. tukar tayar and all the other compartment that cost his own money.

i go back doing all the chores and cook while crying hard alone at the kitchen. i can't show it to my other siblings but i know they do feel sad too.  few moments later ibu balik with ayah on her side. pity ayah he can't walk. dengan still berkain hospital warna hijau, ayah jalan terhenjut henjut masuk rumah.  his knee, basically the worst injured.

 ibu cakap patella ayah berlubang which to my suprise got so much jahitan. then ibu kata stokin ayah basah dengan darah je. gee, i can't bear to look at it since im afraid of blood. ayah keep on whiniing sakit here and there. projek tangguh , jumpa lawyer jumaat depan la and urusan tanah and other stuff. hati anak mana yang tak sakit weyh tengok ayah dia macam tu. seriously, adik aku dah lari masuk balik dah tak tahan nangis.

since im the oldest, i keep on staying strong. i laugh actually make fun of dad, still. typical me. cause i know or else the whole family will started to cry. haha hmm, anyway, there is one moment, im at the kitchen talking about ayah with mum, and she kinda just rep me

"Alhamdullillah ayah masih ada, kak." 

this part i have to say, meruntun jiwa gila. anyhow, this incident really open up my mind enough to really care about my dad. he is everything, my hero, my ninja and my savior. my adviser, my teacher, and my counselor. i can't imagine, if i don't have my dad around me.

i know someday, He will take him away from me but all i wish is, God please don't take him now. I just not ready. i really am not ready.

Ayah, tolong cepat sihat. nanti kita boleh jog sama sama lagi :')

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